Songs and a Poem at Christmas

Some songs for the festive season

The twelve days of Christmas

(… or “Don’t keep buying me photographic stuff”)

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me …

Twelve filters filtering

Eleven tripods holding

Ten flashes flashing

Nine models posing

Eight grips a-gripping
Seven hoods a-shielding Six weddings booking Five D-SLRs Four camera bags Three photo mags Two shutter lags And a winner in every photo comp

Jingle Bells (… or “I don’t want to be doing this”)

Dashing through the snow Along a muddy track O’er the fields I go Camera on my back

Rain and cold and ice Will never stop desire My friends – that’s very nice - Are sitting by the fire

Oh, snap, snap, sneeze Snap, snap, sneeze Coughing all the way Oh what fun that I could have If I was snug like they

Twas the night before Christmas

(… or “If anything can go wrong, it will”)

Twas the night before Christmas And all through the place A photographer wandered To catch Santa’s face

He’d set up his tripod And cocked up his shutter When he heard in the chimney A cough and a splutter

He steadied his camera And charged up his gun For the best of all candids In life he had done

With a soot cloud of blackness Down Santa he came The photographer pounced A great image his game

But the lens he discovered, As he saw Santa’s foot, Had poor optic properties - it was covered in soot